Allow Ann to Babble, Please!

To remain kind- to remain gentle- despite everything that life puts you through is a true gift. But some people cannot hold out like that. The things that they go through make them harsh and calloused. They lose their light. They lose their soft side and they turn unkind. Some of the most popular anti-heroes in today's fiction are such characters. And I had written a poem about this transition they undergo. Here is it. mirror mirror on the wall tell me what do you see? beautiful youth melodic bounce a kid that dearly dreams mirror mirror on the wall tell me what do you see? careless glee happy mien a love for stars and skies mirror mirror on the wall tell me what do you see? sunkissed face golden hair a blooming flower that beams mirror mirror on the wall tell me what do you see? tear-streaked eyes newborn scars a breaking fragile mind mirror mirror on the wall tell me what do you see? heavy impositions societal baggage an unreachable bar up high mirror mirror on the wall tell me w...

  Frederic Leighton was a British artist of the Victorian era and long-time president of the Royal Academy whose artistic brilliance is behind this painting titled, 'Flaming June'. He was a painter of the neoclassical movement. This painting was presented to the Royal Academy in 1985. It was one of Leighton's final six paintings that were displayed in a group. Among the other five, June seemed a little odd to the eye of the people. The woman in this painting is enjoying a quiet nap on a terrace on a summer day. Her hair, her dress, her shawl- all of it merges into a river of orange. She is often likened to a nymph sleeping on a chair. The warmth of it all can actually be felt off the screen itself. She takes most of the canvas, her form accused by critics to be more decorative than comfortable. The turquoise waters of the Meditteranean sea glitter behind her. But things are not as calm and serene as it might seem. Because the plant at the top right corner is a deadly poison...

I love to click and record things that are important to me. I wouldn't say that I'm a professional videographer or photographer. I have a very average phone camera and minimal storage space with even less camera skills. But shooting the people around me is something I do for the joy of my heart. I love to observe people- and I do it almost subconsciously. I love the little things that make them THEM . I notice how they hold their coffee cups. I notice how they lean on the person next to them because they are comforted by their presence. I notice how their whole demeanour lightens up when someone they like enters the room. I notice how they fully concentrate on their food while eating and wouldn't even care if fireworks went around them. I notice how they laugh without any fear. I notice how they pout just that little when something goes against what they wished for. I notice it all and I love to capture all of it into a tiny little frame. And it's all because I just lov...

  Frida Kahlo is a sensational Mexican artist who composed this oil painting named 'The Wounded Deer' in 1946. In this painting, Frida uses a deer with her own head attached to it and it is severely wounded by multiple arrows. The background shows a forest with long trunks of trees and a little water shore. There is a stormy, lightning-lit-sky in the distance but it seems as if the deer can't really reach it. Frida had many pets of which deer were her favourite. And her muse for this particular painting was her pet deer, Granzio. This painting reflects the turmoil she was in after a spine operation of hers had failed. It is generally thought to portray her disappointment towards the failure of this operation. She was also well accustomed to Aesop's fable which she has metaphorized here. She was hopeless regarding her health condition and felt very lonely and depressed due to it. She lived her life centred around hospitals and was in never-ending pain and a constant thre...

Taylor Swift's Lover album contains the song 'The Archer'. The title of today's blog- "Who could ever leave me darling but who could stay?"- is a lyric from that particular song. And I chose it to be today's topic because it is something that I resonate with too much. And as I was listening to it today, I grew too nostalgic. This is a very personal post but as I always say, my writing is the only place I can be truly vulnerable so here I am. I've gained a lot of friends throughout my life. I've lost a lot of them. And I'm not saying others don't, but when I love someone, I love them very dearly. If they're close to me, even the slightest change in their attitude will hurt me very badly and I'll be crying over it into my pillow when nighttime comes. I put a lot of effort into the relationships with the people I value. I try and I try to be the best possible friend I can be to them. And they appreciate all of my little gestures and al...

  Writer's block, in my own personal experience, is something that eats away at your brain. You sit down in front of your laptop or your book and you want to write- you really really want to write- but your imagination fails you and no words come out. Then, you eventually have to shut the laptop or the book and keep it aside and I think that's one of the worst feelings in the world for a writer. As someone who has always penned down her thoughts and feelings, not being able to write is like a curse to me. If I do not write, I cannot express myself in the way I want to express myself, and that is truly something that disturbs me to my very core. When I was in high school, I had started on a fanfiction with a really intricate and complex plot with even more complicated sub-plots (and I do not know how I came up with all that but I just did). In the beginning, I was so excited about it and I was making multiple character and plot outlines and writing three to four chapters per day...

There is a song called 'Epiphany' by Taylor Swift in her album Folklore. And this poem had inspired me so much that I wrote a poem based on it a long while ago. But I was reminded of it now because I had to study a poem named 'The Diameter of the Bomb' by Yehuda Amichai for my exam today- an anti-war poem that speaks volumes about the sheer destruction and pain it brings. It is then that this particular poem that I wrote was brought to my memory. I'd like to share that very amateur yet profound poem for my blog post today. the battle cries in the back the soldier bleeding to the ground the men around him walk on without his only friend rushing to his side watching the life drain away from those eyes he daily stared all around the bullet sounds the little kid wails somewhere on a lady's chest; tears in his hair the gentle hands that used to be around her now lies cold somewhere far away she clutches tight onto the kid the only part remaining of her muse the sick ...

  'A Thousand Splendid Suns' by Khaled Hosseini is an emotional masterpiece. It is the story of two women, Mariam and Laila, who try to survive amidst the oppression and violence they face in Afghanistan. Mariam was an illegitimate child living with her abusive mother whose life is even more tragically altered as she is married off to Rasheed, a man thirty years her senior and very much controlling. Years later, Laila, who is a young girl from Kabul is merged into Mariam's life after her own family is torn apart by violence. They start to develop an unlikely bond under the oppressive household of Rasheed. As the years pass by, Afghanistan undergoes vast changes, from the Soviet invasion to the rise of the Taliban regime. The hardships they undergo then are heartbreaking to the readers, but they hold out against it all, portraying the power of resilience and trust. They portray the harsh realities of life as women in Afghanistan but the themes of love, hope and sacrifice hol...

  "Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was arrested." The Trial by Franz Kafka reveals the true world we live in, hidden behind all the corruption and facades. It follows the story of Josef K. who is suddenly arrested by unidentified agents one morning without any sort of clarification on the crime that he supposedly committed. Then, he is put through a complex trial facing enigmatic lawyers, judges and other characters who offer little to no clarity to him on the subject. Even though he tries to clear his name, he finds himself deeply entangled in a web of absurd and corrupt bureaucracy. Mr.K represents our desire to deal with problems in a logical way but at the end of the day, we are just pushed into the insanity that is this world. This story is presented as an allegory representing society and its flaws as a whole. Here, we can see man's fight against totalitarianism and a corrupt administration. But upo...

  "There is something comforting about the sight of strangers safe at home." The Girl on the Train is a book that teaches you to trust NO ONE. This point is made precise and clear by using three female narrators who share the storytelling of this book. One of them is an alcoholic. Another one is a cheat and another is a liar. Now, who really can you trust here? This book is a gripping psychological thriller which follows the intertwined lives of these three women. Rachel is the alcoholic who takes the same train every single day and becomes obsessed with a seemingly happy couple by the name of Scott and Megan as she observes them from the train window. And this Megan goes missing one day, and Rachel is sucked into this investigation despite her unreliable memory and addiction. Anna is yet another one of the important characters of this story that helps in the revelation of the truth at the end. This book clearly shows how our perceptions of others can be twisted and manipulat...

  Folklore is my favourite album from Taylor Swift. And 'This is me trying' is the ninth track of that album. It's one song I hold very close to my heart, so much so that I have written a poem inspired by it. And in today's blog, I'd like to share that poem. there's a lot on my mind slipping through the cracks of my sanity haunted by the idea this wasting away of my wretched reality the soul that is scathing away as the head chains me down to itself those shards of glass of my mind that cut through my bones and my skin yet i wake up each day to the sun wanting to be better by the promise i made to the moon so i try and i try and i try through the empty days and the hollow endless nights i try to live the life that i have and not just exist in an empty abyss of my past in my words my anger used to pound upon them my regret never counts pure and raw ache i have inflicted upon my soul and upon all theirs there's too much weight on my back i can't help but c...

  Taylor Jenkins Reid is a master of fiction. The way in which she has written this book almost made me believe that the band in the title, 'Daisy Jones & The Six' is actually real. It takes the readers to the most iconic rock n' roll age- the sixties and the seventies. The book's atmosphere is so realistic that you sometimes forget that these characters aren't real and this is just plain fiction. The characters are so raw and so complex like real people in the real world. The dark, unforgiving nature of addiction is explored in perfect detail in this book. Through the characters of Billy and Daisy, it makes sure to portray the glamorization of drugs during this time instead of glamorizing it themselves. If you're someone who loves rock- loves pop- loves music in general. If you crave drama and passion. If you're a fan of oral histories of pop culture, then this book might be an interesting read to you. There's so much original music in this book wit...

Here's a thing about me- I love taking pictures of the things I love. Here's another thing about me- I love the sky. Hence, why my gallery is filled with pictures of pretty sunsets. the clouds, the stars and the moon.  As I have mentioned in another one of my blogs, I love to walk- especially when I am stressed or down. And if the sky is of a pretty shade then, relief comes to me ten times quicker. If it's night time, it's even better. Though I won't be able to walk around pretty late into the night, I go out or up to the terrace and just sit or lay there, looking at the sky, lost in thought. It evokes new ideas and thoughts in me- inspirations for my later writings. It's honestly the only time I can just let all my defences and facades crumble to the ground and actually be okay with it.  Skygazing- stargazing, especially- is something so particularly dear to me. And I don't like to do it with people. I like to do it all by myself. I don't want anyone...

Madeline Miller is truly one of the best authors of this age in my opinion. The way she weaves the narrative and builds the character is truly captivating. 'Circe' is a perfect example of this.  Circe is born to the great Helios, god of the sun and the mightiest of the Titans. But she doesn't possess any of the power or allure of her parents. So she turns to the mortal world for companionship. It's then that she acquires the power of witchcraft. This power of hers makes the gods feel threatened so she is banished by Zeus to a deserted island. There, she hones her occult craft, tames wild animals and crosses paths with famous figures in Greek mythology including Odysseus, Minotaur, Daedalus, Icarus and Medea. But being a woman who is alone and powerful, she is subjected to the vengeance of the Olympians. And no, she is no saint. She is a vile woman who has done treacherous things. But somehow she remains human- hauntingly human- through it all. Miller has written her cha...

I was feeling very unproductive and down today and I was instantly reminded of my hometown for some reason. A particular day came rushing to my memory- I distinctly remember feeling unproductive and down then too. So I got out of the house and went for a walk. And when I came back, I made a poem out of all that I saw. And after that, it was like the affliction in me had eased considerably. It was on that day that I came to realize how walking and poetry writing are two things that could build back my soul. Even though it is such an amateur poem, I'd like to share it here. Because there's this quote that goes- "You say 'amateur' as if it was a dirty word. 'Amateur' comes from the Latin word 'amare', which means to love. To do things for the love of it." So here's the poem. The people scurry past The urge to get home The cars bustle through The packed noisy street I walk through the side The air heavy with food Evening snacks being served Dos...

  Pablo Ruiz Picasso was a Spanish painter and sculptor who is one of the most influential artists of the 20th century. It is his ability to adapt and switch styles whenever necessary that allowed him to remain relevant and important. But even though he is considered to be one of the most famous artists ever, he was not always as successful or confident as he is made out to be. He was met with a lot of difficulties in his life that impacted his work and just like any other artist, he infused his own emotions into his art. This period of his career is known as the Blue Period and it is during this time that he made the painting, 'The Old Guitarist'. (1903) As we can see, the painting is set in a blue tone. It was the death of his close friend, Carles Casagemas (who committed suicide by shooting himself in the middle of a dinner party due to an incident with his lover) that made Picasso start painting in blue. He chose this colour to show the affliction in him through his work of...

There's this song by boygenius named 'Not Strong Enough' in which there is a lyric- "always an angel, never a god." My interpretation of this line is basically how one never really feels enough- like despite being good- despite being an angel touched by divinity and loved by many, you're not a god who is divinity in itself with the ultimate power of creation and immortality. No matter how hard you try, you cannot seem to fulfil the fire in you. And it is in correlation with this lyric that a trend emerged within which a line became popular- "Always the Poet, Never the Poem." I personally am quite fond of poetry and I seek inspiration for my poems in every face I come across. If someone is very dear to me, chances are I've definitely written a poem about them somewhere in my notepad or notes app. And the people who are the dearest to me- they're my constant muse. But even though I always seem to pick up on the smallest things they say and do a...

  This book was such a heartwarming read to me. The main character, Cassie, just wants some solid ground under her feet after the shock of her parents' divorce. So naturally, she becomes enraged upon learning that her mother has planned to take her and her brother, Drew. on a four-month sailing trip from Oregon to Mexico. "There is absolutely nothing solid about the Pacific Ocean", the blurb of the book says. But we soon find out that the waves were just what she needed. I've read many reviews of this book that said that the main character was really annoying. And yes, I get why they say that but all in all, Cassie is just a teenager who is struggling in her own way with her own problems that might not seem that big in a broad sense. No matter how small to others, they're still her problems and she is navigating through it in the ways she is comfortable with or rather avoiding the path she is scared of. And that's just what teenagers often tend to do. We do no...

  This book  Is for the grievers This book Is for the left behind This book Is for every broken heart Searching for a home -Kathleen Glasgow. Kathleen Glasgow is an American contemporary author who is best known for her emotionally powerful young adult novels of which 'How to Make Friends with the Dark' is one of my favourites. It is a book about a girl named Tiger Tolliver who learns to live with loss and grief. It shows us the real meaning of family- of caring and letting yourself be cared for. Grief is a very hard thing to process and live with. And to pen it down is even harder. But this book does that hauntingly well. In this story, Tiger's mother dies and she is rendered an orphan and a property of the state, forced to move from one foster home to the other. And the worst part of it all is how there is no guidebook to deal with grief as Tiger struggles with it as the trajectory of her entire life changes. "Who would ever guess that it isn't your bones or your...

  Khaled Hosseini is an Afghan-American novelist, UNHCR goodwill ambassador, and former physician. 'The Kite Runner' was his debut novel that was heavily criticized by the masses. But it was one book that made me literally bawl by the end of it. And by that, I mean that I hold this piece of literature very close to my heart. The tears were merely a testament to that. It is a novel that shows how much the past impacts the present. This book follows the story of a wealthy boy who lives in Kabul by the name of Amir who grows up with his best friend, Hassan who was a Hazara (an ethnic minority in Afghanistan considered to be inferior to others) servant in his household. They do almost every single thing together and one of their favourite hobbies is kite running. Twelve-year-old Amir is determined to win the kite fighting tournament in their locality and he is able to do it with the help of his dear friend Hassan. But this victory comes with a very high price. What happens to Hassa...

  The Book Thief by Markus Zusak is one of my favourite reads of all time. This is a book that gave me a history lesson in the most soul-crushing way possible. It is set in Nazi Germany in the years 1939-1943. Narrated by Death (personified, yes), it is the story of a young German girl, Liesel Meminger, who is sent to live with a foster family. Liesel is given the title 'Book Thief' by Death himself who takes a peculiar interest in this girl when he first meets her when her brother dies and she so happens to steal her first ever book, 'The Gravedigger's Handbook' which was left in the snow by her brother's grave. She steals more books as she grows older by more methodical means. At last Death pockets Liesel's notebook after she leaves it in her grief, amongst all the chaos that was made out of the place she used to call home because of the atrocities of war.  It is a book that highlights the plight of the Jews during that period but also of the people who di...

"Who said 'please' that made you hate the word so much?" ... "I did." This is one quote that has haunted me ever since I came across it, only because it resonates too much with me. This is a very vulnerable post but I have to get it out because writing is my main source of emotional outlet. I've pleaded and requested and even begged people to put in the same time and effort as I did. I've minimized my worth and dignity to the least possible state just to get people to stay because to lose them was unimaginable to me. But despite whatever I said or whatever I did, they left. I used to think they would never do that to me. But they did. Many people did, countless times, over and over again, despite all promises. And over time, I came to realise that the fact that I thought they wouldn't leave- the hope that they would do better and do right by me- it was a mirror of my own potential. Whenever I thought they would understand and apologize and treat ...