Skip to main content

Who Could Ever Leave Me Darling But Who Could Stay?



Taylor Swift's Lover album contains the song 'The Archer'. The title of today's blog- "Who could ever leave me darling but who could stay?"- is a lyric from that particular song. And I chose it to be today's topic because it is something that I resonate with too much. And as I was listening to it today, I grew too nostalgic. This is a very personal post but as I always say, my writing is the only place I can be truly vulnerable so here I am.

I've gained a lot of friends throughout my life. I've lost a lot of them. And I'm not saying others don't, but when I love someone, I love them very dearly. If they're close to me, even the slightest change in their attitude will hurt me very badly and I'll be crying over it into my pillow when nighttime comes. I put a lot of effort into the relationships with the people I value. I try and I try to be the best possible friend I can be to them. And they appreciate all of my little gestures and all of my little words. They assure me that they are not so little and that they love that they have someone like me in their lives. But over time, this fades and then I'm just plainly.. annoying. No, I'm not kidding. I've had one of my best friends look me dead in the face and say that I'm plainly annoying and that I try too hard. She told me that I do not know when to stop. She told me that I hold on too tight. She told me I suffocate people with my love. And it's then that I realized that an over-watered plant dies too. And yeah, she and so many other people I've dearly valued have left me saying that I am too much for them to handle and they have no place for me in their lives.

You see, I understand why they left. I understand it all. I hold no vengeance against them. In life, people come and people go. But I remember them telling me they would never leave me. But now that memory is tainted by the fact that they ultimately never stayed. It is exactly as that lyric goes- "Who could ever leave me darling but who could stay?" (Taylor really do be writing a lot of lines from the pages of my life.)

My wish in life is to grow accustomed to the pain this leaving brings. Because of course, more people I love and cherish are definitely going to walk out of my life one day. I only pray that I can muster up the courage to handle it without breaking down as I always do. But I will never hate them for leaving. I never can. Because it is as this quote from Uma Thurman goes-

"I still love the people I've loved, even if I cross the street to avoid them."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Significance of Jo March's Monologue in 'Little Women'

'Little Women', a classic novel by Louisa May Alcott was adapted into a movie under the direction of Greta Gerwig (one of my absolute favourite directors of all time) in the year 2019. It portrays the lives of four sisters- Jo, Meg, Beth, and Amy- navigating love, aspirations, and societal expectations during the Civil War era. The film beautifully captures their individual journeys and the evolving dynamics of sisterhood. Jo March, who is the second of the four March sisters, is the protagonist who aspires with every fibre in her to become a well-acclaimed writer. It's even more interesting how the character of Jo is actually based on Louisa May Alcott herself, making the story sort of a semi-autobiography. Played by Saoirse Ronan, Jo is portrayed as an extremely independent woman, challenging the gender roles and the restraints placed upon women in society.  Even though the whole movie is something that strikes the very depths of our hearts, there is one particular monolo...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Experience with Writer's Block and Overcoming It

  Writer's block, in my own personal experience, is something that eats away at your brain. You sit down in front of your laptop or your book and you want to write- you really really want to write- but your imagination fails you and no words come out. Then, you eventually have to shut the laptop or the book and keep it aside and I think that's one of the worst feelings in the world for a writer. As someone who has always penned down her thoughts and feelings, not being able to write is like a curse to me. If I do not write, I cannot express myself in the way I want to express myself, and that is truly something that disturbs me to my very core. When I was in high school, I had started on a fanfiction with a really intricate and complex plot with even more complicated sub-plots (and I do not know how I came up with all that but I just did). In the beginning, I was so excited about it and I was making multiple character and plot outlines and writing three to four chapters per day...
2 comments
Read more

The Thing About Life

Let me start off by telling you some good news. It has passed and you will never experience that again. Now let me tell you a bad one. It has passed and you will never experience that again. There are instances we wish we could freeze and frame forever. Like, even when you're living in it, you will feel a kind of ache within yourself over the fact that it will end at one point in time. And there are other moments you just want to get done with and leave the whole thing behind. You've had enough. It has drained you to the point where you want to be rid of it as soon as possible. This is life- a remix tape of the same two scenarios over and over again. This is life until your death. The highs and lows are a part of our existence. We cannot choose to keep the good part and avoid the bad. We have to learn to balance it both. We should cherish the good moments and enjoy them to the best of our capability whether it is with our loved ones or by ourselves. Learn to live in the moment....
Post a Comment
Read more