The Need for Boundaries

Anyone who has ever been a people-pleaser in their lives knows how hard it is to say the word 'no'. It's just two words. One syllable. But somehow, uttering this seems too complex- too complicated. When someone comes up to you and asks for something you know you don't have the time, space or mind to give and yet- YET- that one single word fails to rise up your throat to be spilled out into the open. Yeah, that's called lacking boundaries.

It's great to be a selfless person. To always give to everyone without expecting anything in return is not an easy feat. To be kind to people who have been unkind to you and to make others happy even at the cost of your own is something that only a person with a truly big heart can do. But let me warn you, it will eat away at you. Let's take an instance where you're a glass of water filled to the brim. To quench others' thirst you're just giving yourself away. "It's okay. Drink from me", you reply to every single person that comes your way for help. And that's good. That's great. But soon enough, you'll be empty. You'll have nothing more inside of you to give to anyone- or more importantly, to yourself.

Don't ever let things come to that.

Remember- boundaries!

I'm not saying you have to be unkind or dismissive of every single person's approach. But take heed that what you give to them doesn't leave you depleted in the end. Do not give and give and give and have nothing for yourself after it all. No matter how hard it is or no matter how the other person might take your opinion, learn to say 'no'. In all kinds of relationship dynamics, boundaries are an important aspect. You are your own person and your personal space is your own right. Do not let anyone infringe on it or tell you that you're wrong for setting a wall around it. You OWN it. Whether you choose to share your time and effort, it is YOUR choice.

Be kind, yes. Be helpful and understanding, definitely. But do not be a fragile flower whose petals people can just pluck out and throw away after a while. Even when the person plucking it out is someone who is very much close to your heart.

Remember- NO.

(Inspo for today's blog; not my art!)

Comments

The Significance of Jo March's Monologue in 'Little Women'

'Little Women', a classic novel by Louisa May Alcott was adapted into a movie under the direction of Greta Gerwig (one of my absolute favourite directors of all time) in the year 2019. It portrays the lives of four sisters- Jo, Meg, Beth, and Amy- navigating love, aspirations, and societal expectations during the Civil War era. The film beautifully captures their individual journeys and the evolving dynamics of sisterhood. Jo March, who is the second of the four March sisters, is the protagonist who aspires with every fibre in her to become a well-acclaimed writer. It's even more interesting how the character of Jo is actually based on Louisa May Alcott herself, making the story sort of a semi-autobiography. Played by Saoirse Ronan, Jo is portrayed as an extremely independent woman, challenging the gender roles and the restraints placed upon women in society. Even though the whole movie is something that strikes the very depths of our hearts, there is one particular monolo...

Lost in the Waves

Beaches have always been a favourite of mine. It's almost like the sea calls my name, beckoning me to embrace its folds. To throw myself into the waters and have no care in the world is something too special to me. Because when I'm neck-deep in there, I'm nothing. My weight against the force of the waves becomes irrelevant. And I'm not just speaking of the weight of my body but of my heart too. In fact, I think my heart is far more heavy than my body ever will be. After all, it is a museum of everything I have loved and lost and loved again. And the artefacts within it weigh down on me- it makes me slump my shoulders and drag my feet while I should be floating around with ease. It makes even the easiest tasks undoable. But the moment I step into the water, I'm free of it all. Maybe it is an inherent nature of mine- to dive into something that is ragingly unpredictable. But rage is so dear to me. Unpredictability is so dear to me. It's something I've grown up...

Stop Silencing and Start Addressing!

Today's blog is once again inspired by a spectacular performance put up by the Malayalam Crew of Theatre No.59 at MCC on Day 2 of the Theatre night. This play, titled 'Rithu', was such an emotional masterpiece that it brought almost the entirety of Anderson Hall (where this event was taking place) to its feet. And God, did even a standing ovation seem far too less of a credit that could be given to the act that was put up on stage. Here, we could see 'Malik', a fifth-grade student from an ordinary working-class family in Kerala, filled with a sense of curiosity about the differences between the male and the female anatomy. When he raises this doubt to his parents, he is shunned and silenced. So he decides to take a peek into the girls' washroom at his school so that he can understand why girls sit down when they pass urine, unlike boys who stand. But he is caught by a teacher of his and is brought to the principal who beats him and shames him, demanding his par...

Allow Ann to Babble, Please!

Search This Blog