Academic Burn Out

I used to be someone who was at the top of her class. I've always had a rank above five till my ninth grade. It's not that I felt pressured to study that hard but people appreciated me best when I did. And I craved that appreciation and validation from my parents, teachers and relatives, even if it meant unending sleepless nights and constant stress. I wasn't particularly exceptional at any co-curricular activity or sports event. I was just in the middle of everything- not that poor but not that good either. Studying was the one thing that people accepted I was really good at. So I did everything to keep their beliefs intact.

But in my tenth grade, academic burnout hit me and it hit me hard. I felt like I was literally draining myself too much. I lost the will to study. I barely passed my model exams. Tenth grade is believed to be a turning point in every single student's life- the phase where they're supposed to work the hardest. But I couldn't focus. I couldn't study like I used to. Having studied ICSE till grade ten, and my tenth grade being amid the COVID-19 pandemic, our board exams were cancelled and our previous grades were taken for the final result. Hence, I was saved. I cannot imagine what my situation would've been if that exam had taken place.

It was then that I decided I was done pushing myself to the extreme. Despite much opposition from my relatives and my teachers, I switched schools and chose the Arts stream. And now, even though one particular aunt of mine tells me that I have wasted my potential right to my face every single time she sees me, I chose B.A. English Language and Literature. Why? Simply because I love it.

Despite what people think, even studying Literature is not such an easy course. And no, it is not the hardest one in existence either. I still get fed up sometimes studying it. The semester exams that are going on right now are almost like a nightmare phase to me. But at the end of the day, I'm happy that I chose this course. And that's what I ultimately aspire to be in life.

Happy.

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