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A Cosplay Experience

Even though failures don't send me down manic depressive episodes, the problem of handling them is something I've actually had a lot of internal conflicts over. They end up shaking my overall confidence, making me pull away from things that I might actually really want to do. But my college has allowed me to tame this exhausting fear of mine. One such opportunity was presented to me today at an inter-college event at Hindustan College where me and one of my best friends performed as a pair for an event called 'Cosplay Ramp walk'.

We had to dress up as contrasting characters, and walk the ramp and then act out the people we chose. My friend was playing the part of Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, and I was Theodora, the Wicked Witch of the West from the movie 'Oz the Great and Powerful'. My part required me to paint myself green. And oh god, how I was internally worrying over how humiliating it would be. Like, just imagine walking around a highly polished campus looking like Shrek- you get it, right?

But then I remembered all the effort I and my friend had put into this. Even though I wouldn't say we were practising non-stop (We weren't. I literally got the script done last night), we still put a lot of effort into it to make it the best we can do. And making it all go down the drain, just because of the possibility of feeling humiliated? No. That seemed too stupid of a thought even to my own head. So then, I went all out. I allowed myself to feel the humiliation and turn it into confidence. I literally asked my friends to paint every part of my exposed body except my legs (because we didn't have the time to, or else I would've done that too.) And.. it turned out pretty great. (I did end up looking the Shrek but thank Heavens, I had the witch's costume and a broomstick in hand or people would've seriously misunderstood me.)

Even though both of us were tensed, to begin with, I reminded myself that I needed to keep a level head so that my best friend could also keep a level head. And I knew it was only by doing so that we could ace it. So I told her to shake off her fears and take a breath. And then I told myself the same. No matter the outcome, I wanted us to do it to the best of our capability. And I was extremely satisfied at the end of those five minutes of our performance.

Just that satisfaction was a reward enough for me. The fact that I kicked my anxieties and fears out the door and gave it my all made me feel really happy. And seeing my best friend do the same made me feel really proud. And that was everything to me.

Then came the valedictory ceremony. I wouldn't say it was unexpected because we had a reasonable amount of hope that we would win, but it still was a pleasant surprise when they called out our names on the stage. Holding that certificate and trophy on stage reminded me of all the times I was devastated when I couldn't get one. And I was reminded of one specific Japanese proverb- "nana korobi ya oki."

"FALL SEVEN TIMES. STAND UP EIGHT."



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